I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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