too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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