i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
