Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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