I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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