I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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