Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Who died my cat blue again?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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