Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i came on her dog
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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