4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
