Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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