Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm passing your future prison.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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