So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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