everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
im holly from the hills drunk
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
