You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
