vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
