He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
