I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
