i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
