Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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