:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
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