last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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