I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
