Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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