I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
