I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
