I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
