Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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