i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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