i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
