$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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