My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
