You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
