I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
