I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
