i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
