Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
