i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
