Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
