Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
