Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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