Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have already put on my inside pants.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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