K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
