Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
