doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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