Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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