Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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