I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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