There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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