She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
