I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
