First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
