Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
