i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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